2026-02-21 - Feeling Happiness

So, I haven't been doing very well lately. Well... ever? I would only categorize a couple short times as "truly happy"; the rest has been pretty much a slog.

It's all a combination of my choices and things that have just "happened to me." I don't know what else to do. I keep moving forward on the multitudes of challenges that I've been facing and getting nowhere. Or at least nowhere very fast.

I was truly happy before my friend's suicide. It was this beautiful time right after the start of my transition (about a year in) and I was making friends and out every night. I was dating someone and he was amazing. We broke up about two weeks before she died.

I haven't been the same since. And more things keep happening. I lost another friend late last year in a car accident. While I'm stuck at home on a suspended license.

I've lost most of the friends I had then. I got too dark. I have one that still responds sometimes and some that I see sometimes. I don't leave the house for anything that's not considered "household maintenance" so it's a quiet life.